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A degrading and abusive tweet directed towards black women as a whole and usually involving a comparison to another racial or ethnic group is enough to make any black woman bristle and wonder: “When did it become acceptable for black men to so publicly disrespect us?”
Yes — black men — in this case, Trick Daddy. You may remember the once-popular rapper who expanded the mainstream popularity of the Miami bass sound many years ago. He decided it was a good idea to post this on Instagram:
Trick referred to all women as hoes while admonishing black women (“b******”) for not being as appealing or valuable as white and “Spanish” (Latina) women. It is important to note that by referring to each group of women as “hoes,” he immediately made obvious his disdain and lack of respect for the humanity of any of us; he didn’t use the word “women” once.
And, as if we spend each of our waking moments waiting for some washed-up rapper’s guidance on strengthening our womanhood, he then went on to tell black women that we need to “tighten up” and change our ways, because the other women were making gains on us. He even went so far as to suggest that if non-black women learn how to fry chicken, we as black women would become as irrelevant and unnecessary as he, his career, and his opinion are today.
When male celebrities who have long relied on the social, emotional, and financial support of black women speak about us in such horrible ways, we often end up feeling sold out and betrayed by the those we expect to have our backs. When a rapper who hasn’t had a song hit the chart in ten years and needs attention goes on an anti-black woman Instagram rant, we have to think about where we are, culturally, and what this means for intraracial relationship dynamics between black women and black men.
Malcolm X once said that the most disrespected woman in the world is the black woman, and rather than take the time and energy required to explore such a powerful statement, we end up with a chorus of reactions — ranging from outright denial and distancing (“Not me!”; “Not all black men are like that”) to pointed blame (“You need to choose better men;” “It’s your fault for letting them do that to you”).
Despite the statistics that show black women experience violence at rates disproportionate to those of women of other racial groups, there remains a subtle demand that black women work hard to prove that we are valuable and worth black men’s emotional and financial investments.
We already struggle with positively acknowledging and embracing our whole selves in a society that casts us as the opposite of beautiful and desirable, so to have some of our own “brothers” join in on the constant attacks on our personhood hurts.
It hurts like hell.
It pains us nearly every day, and on the days when we manage to escape the onslaught of attacks, someone will come along and make sure that we feel that pain by asserting that “white girls are evolving.” We’re relegated to being durable mules, often praised as cooks and caretakers, while other women are exalted as “wife material” and better simply by not being black.
We have to endure regular attacks from brothers who seek the attention they know they’ll garner by bashing us; angering black women has become quite a valuable marketing tool. They also know others will join in, and those few laughs and retweets are worth completely denigrating the women who come from the same bloodlines, communities, trauma and triumph as they have.
Centuries of colonization, enslavement, rape, torture and psychological poisoning have rendered black women especially vulnerable to violence and abuse. As we have been designated as the mules of the world, too many buy into the idea that our only value is our ability to perform labor for others; bearing children, managing households, tending to physical and emotional wounds, existing as never-ending fountains of wisdom and support and providing sexual satisfaction (or the opportunity to exhibit sexual dominance) seem to be the primary functions of black women as seen by others.
As such, we are often denied even the most basic courtesy, respect, tenderness, kindness, protection and defense other women seem to receive without hesitation.
We are all supposed to be in this life together, yet the most toxic notions of masculinity have permeated our communities for decades, causing a seemingly exponential increase in emotional, psychological, and physical/sexual abuse against us. When I say there isn’t a week that goes by when I don’t read at least two news stories about a black woman being killed or sexually assaulted by a black man, I’m not exaggerating.
Trick Daddy’s response to the backlash over his video is also disturbing. Here’s what he had to say on Facebook:
I ask myself: is it that the violence and abuse against us is increasing, or are we just hearing about the acts more because of the internet and social media? Have brothers always treated us this horribly, and where did this come from?
Though some will read this an indictment on all black men, it is not. There is no way I would condemn every brother for the actions and attitudes of others, because that isn’t fair — I know entirely too many amazing men who try to do their part to fight this and bring about change. And yes, I know that all races of men have abusive monsters among them.
What I am suggesting, however, is that we have to acknowledge how white supremacy and sexism combine to create unique experiences for black women and how, unfortunately, those closest in proximity to us are too often the primary and likely perpetrators.
I’m troubled by how quick people are to poke fun at black women to get us riled up so they can use our expressions of pain-induced outrage to get clicks, retweets, and hits. I’m deeply troubled by how harming black women has become a go-to mechanism to garner attention.
And I’m disgusted with how casually some will take to public spaces to make sure others know, without a doubt, how much they hate us.
And how much they hate themselves.
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Con mucho gusto!
I'd rather pick up a black whore, clean her up and make her my queen before I get with a white woman, white lady or white hoe. No you're very wrong @Bombadrop, but based on reading many of your comments on cf you always struck me as the sort of maggot trolling byatch little boys like trick daddy would die for and you for them.
Very thorough article!
This nonfactor,under achiever kneegrow is not a representation of good black men,but his type surely make decent black men look bad out there.
His name alone reveal his mindset. How old is this fool?... embarrassing on so many levels! You know sometimes folk do have legitimate gripes and one can complain about certain behavior/lifestyle without degrading black women as a whole or each other in general... some of these black males(not men) have lost their GODS given sense and minds and have drop their balls on being men.
He reminds me of those old punks who targets young fatherless girls in the community... not man enough to maintain a real,healthy,stable relationship with a grown woman,sad trick!
Remember you are what you attract,you pick the worst,because that's who you are under the facade.
Miserable looking as phuck with an obviously tormented soul... the ones who speak bitterly about black women out of anger are the most abusive to her well being... black women you are not missing out on anything worthwhile,good riddance to his types.
Women stop supporting the losers and let them perish,send them off to the other side if they so chose! I swear the world is laughing hard at black people right now,we have fallen at an all time low. A conquered people living in confusion,we have reached the point of insanity. SMDH
On another note,black women should stop getting offended when these losers,goes on their praising fit of women from other groups. You must understand this is their own shortcomings and hatred,see them for who they are! Good black men who appreciates good black women, would never compare you to another.
Plenty of these females they place on a pedestal,often treat them like the castrated,hatefilled spooks they are in the long run! They infantilized black males with no real respect,will use black males to boost their insecure self esteem, these types of black males do worship them and since they don't usually get the same adoration from their own men,they run with this to their advantage.. from my own observation,these other group of women are more subtle,deceitful and better with their games,than black women. Black women are more often times too unfront!
What these losers like wack daddy fails to understand is,they are aiding and abetting to their own destruction in white supremacy society. These lames get loud about their women,but wont fix their own ills or speak up against a system that dominates them ... weak ass phucks!
HEY TRICK DADDY,GO TIGHTEN UP YOURSELF.... BREAK THE GENERATIONAL CURSE AND MINDSET!
#TheSelfHatredIsReal#AgendaToDivideBlacks
@HandsomeMan, you really can't change or force people to change their thoughts, but we have to set the example, the ones that know better...I am not into drama or combative conversations. I can only state my own insights and leave folks to live by theirs...
Trick Daddy who?! LOL....well he can feel how he wants to feel. I have my own loving black man that I have been with going on 18 years and he doesn't disrespect me for anyone! So f*** what he talking about.
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