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I disagree! Not all of us are like Loretta divine. Some of us have great relationships and men who treat us like queens and respect us, and behind our backs they are unfaithful lying bastards. Some people could know someone for a long time and then come to realize that this person is not who you thought they were. The problem is not only us but men as well. MEN, nowadays know how to put on a FRONT and pretend to be a good man, when in actually their not.
That video was good unfortunately it wasn't long enough to go more in depth. The part about the movies is true but we can't forget that those same movies are a reflection of what really goes on in the lives of many, does it make it right no! but it shouldn't take the blame for what it's reflecting.
If we looked to treat and be treated as human beings than the line of white, black, man or women would be respected without question nor reason and that's were we all should start rather than dividing ourselves up by way of race or sex, then demanding respect.
What about the women who do get that good man? most women know how to get a man but don't know how to keep one (and vice versa). when a good man comes along most of the time he gotta walk around an attitude problem and deal with a heart that he didn't break. The good man get's the stereo type of finishing last when it comes to women because they have to wait for the bad boy to have his fun, when all said and done the nice guy doesn't stick around anymore and moves on. If women would not allow each other to go for that bad boy and stop making fun of the nice guy more black men would try to be that nice guy rather than having all the fun (relations) and disrespecting when all said and done.
Either way you look at it we as people need to show more love to one another and stop this cycle of tearing each other done no matter who or what you are because when problems face us all it's each other we turn to.
@ keisha drummond i disagree. it is all perspective, bad relationship is relative whats bad to you, is love to someone else its like the system telling us what's a perfect relationship and what to expect. taught you for so long, you believe it you repeat it but when you get it you still want something else so you are never satisfy with what you have and asked for. so men get confused, what determines the right man? one that buy you roses and chocolate remembers the important dates. or one that takes all the abuse in the world you can dish and don't react ? or one that stand up for himself and visor versa. you see when you think positive and give positive support to your partner it cements your bond this differs in relationships. Each person have different requirements, so time is needed to understand your interest and also teach him or her about you. so be as truthful as possible and don't pretend to be some one your not. As this is what they'll have to work with to get to know your likes and preferences. and if these constantly change it is hard to work out or maintain normalcy. Time with each other is important as well as if you love unconditionally, then we should be nun judgmental, and then build on a work in progress, change and adopt to keep who you love happy, as this should make you happy, but if its a me and a i thing. the selfish needs, will kill the space for love to grow, love should be the basis of a union, not self preservation or survival. many women mix these three and call it love and or relationship, it is not. it is high expectations and this often time leave one party disappointed while wondering why the other person don't get it. well the memo didn't reach the inbox, it was a miss communication. so mistake or not, its what we do in all situation that determine who we are. not what we think of the person and their short comings. we are cultured to attack the persons we don't see eye to eye with, we seldom check our self or actions and how it affect the other person. so we tend to be unreasonable and uncompromising. that's an action witch lead to other actions we don't like, (spiteful or vengeful acts), a cycle begins. then it gives us reasons to paint the other party. if we are not careful, this often time goes a mist some times, this can take a life time to sort out.. our people needs to change our approach to family and relationship. we don't teach our children the fundamentals, only the aged old hand me downs from slavery and colonial life. this model or trial and error this leaves us unprepared for union, it don't work for us. we want gratification now and instant satisfaction and pleasure. we have no time to wait, to vet the past of the other there is no history and ethics check back ground research done, this is what in olden days the folks did, family to family or the time added value of courtship, this usually take years.
so yes i think she gets it. its just not the norm so it's not well accepted by most but and women loves to rag on men but its bin going on for long enough so its time to take a new approach for a better out come
you know when a relationship survive tuff times and its challenges. its the same women that say i would not put up with that. so there is no lets work it out. so the first thing, your all trained to do is destroy what you have. then what!! more words of rant on the other partner. so here it is, grow, fix, resolve, evolve, forgive and work on improving your relationships more importantly listen to your partners pain, wants, needs, or stupid request and remember love each other and find solutions stop playing victim and you can find joy and create moments of happiness together. remember together. bless
when last i checked women dont get with men to have babies and collect child support...thats all we seem to b talking about....they are looking for love and companionship...we all know once emotions are involved our judgment gets cloudy and people lie and pretend about who they are...knowing some1 takes time and sometimes kids come into play...sometimes it takes getting pregnant and having the child for us to see the kind of person ur with...now ur looking at things in a new perspective... mistakes will always be made thats something that will never stop...knowing u made the mistake, owning up to it, removing urself from unhealthy situations is the important thing....for some1 to say they never had a bad relationship i think is crazy...
Check my work Fam. Since 1990...through all the bad mouthing and neck-rolling I've received from black feminists (both female AND male), my book "The Wounded Womb" has been putting these exact issues (and more) on the table. And as I said therein, the only way our sisters will HEAR it, is when one of their own SAYS it...!!! Thank you little Queen...! Check it...http://www.lulu.com/content/2166333
Sister GETS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, child go get an education!
Tallislandgirl thank you Sister
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