When you knew video games were more than just a hobby

Most people who have a deep passion for games have that moment in their lives where they know this is something they will be doing all my life. Some people have that moment when they are young, while some have it when they are older. In my case mine happens to be the latter, actually, it happened not too long ago in my life. It started six months back around July I had moved in with five friends in a cramped two bedroom trailer. After living there for a few months not being able to find a job, sleeping on a deflated air mattress, not having my own space, and starving almost every day seeded the thoughts of depression in my mind. To combat that I started to go smoke more, marijuana to be exact, while also with more heavier drugs to combat that those feelings. I was so angry with myself and I started to turn those negative feelings onto video games.

I couldn't even play a video game without feeling terrible because I saw them as a waste of time indulging people in being lazy do nothings who they waste their lives pressing buttons on a controller and the reason why I was in a shitty situation. Now, in hindsight, I realize how wrong I was about this, but at the time I thought these feelings were real. I hated myself, my life, and everything and everybody around me. I was too busy being stuck in my head of hatred and self-doubt see anything else. Fast forward to a few months later I was temporarily staying at a friends house my brother invites me to come to his place for New Years. After thinking about it I decide to go and have some fun. Well, me being there leads to me moving in with him and getting into a stable living situation.

As I was on youtube one night I come across a gaming podcast, I can't really recall which one it was, and as I was listening to it I started to feel a happy and content for the first time in a while. It was in that very moment I came to the revelation being that I didn't hate video games, but rather had loved them maybe stronger than before all this started. It took a lot for me to come to a decision regarding this, but I'm happy it happened because it made me realize what I wanted I to do and that was take something I have a very deep passion for and try to make something out of it. It's the reason I will try so hard to become a game journalist critic or whatever you want to call it.

Well, there you go, folks, my story is over with. When were you sure you had a passion for video games that runs hotter than the deepest pits of Tartarus? Tell me in a comment. Also were there times you doubted if you wanted to keep playing games? Have a nice day.