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During a riveting speech at Glamour’s 2017 Women of the Year Summit, Tracee Ellis Rossrevealed that the most “interesting” thing about being a woman was that, no matter your successes, you will be judged for not being married or having kids.
“It’s really interesting to be a woman, and to get to 45, and to not be married, and to not have kids. Especially when you’ve pushed out 5 kids on TV,” Ross said.
The “Black-ish” star noted that she wasn’t opposed to the idea of marriage and kids and that she had even planned to have that idyllic life for herself, right down to a “baby boy named Lauren,” but that wasn’t all she wanted.
“I also dreamed of winning an Oscar and being on the cover of magazines and making a difference in the world, helping women find our voices. And from that dreaming, I have built an incredible life. I have become a woman that I am proud to be,” Ross said.
She recalled how she was distressed when people would bring up stories of other women her age who were still having children through adoptions and other methods.
“My worth gets diminished as I am reminded that I have ‘failed’ on the marriage and carriage counts. Me! This bold, liberated, independent woman. I mean, I work out, eat well, I mostly show up to work on time, I’m a good friend, A solid daughter, a hard worker, my credit is good, I take out the garbage before it gets smelly, I recycle and I won a Golden Globe! I’m killing it!” Ross said.
But, she said, she has found a way to keep her perspective.
“My life is mine. Those words stopped me in my tracks,” Ross said. “Those words brought tears to my ears because, yes I’ve been living my life – but not to my own expectations. Not for me.”
“Here’s some good news: you too can go from being You, to being The Brave You. And you should definitely try it! If you haven’t already! Because Brave You is so beautiful! Not beautiful like your hair all did, or your brows all clean…When I think of what is beautiful, I think of a tree, I think of seeing a bird soar. I think of an embodied woman, I think of my mom in her ‘this is me’ glory stance, arms up, heart open, hair big, sexual, powerful and full of agency,” she later added.
She went on to say: “The Brave Me reminds me that I am complete just as me. Not in relation to anyone or anything else, just wholly, fully me.”